tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9746747831471693252011-11-27T19:00:29.878-05:00I think grad school might actually kill me.Megannoreply@blogger.comBlogger451100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-5866142307536021402010-04-10T19:36:00.004-04:002010-04-10T19:49:32.353-04:00

Just another reminder over here that Ph.Dead has moved to its own domain: phdead.net. Please update your bookmarks and RSS feeds!Hope you all are enjoying the new content.- MeganEDIT: Also, it is no longer filled with nothing but super negative angry crap about school. There is variety! And positivity! And geekery!

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-46092855011346407582009-08-31T11:20:00.001-04:002009-08-31T11:23:16.445-04:00

Please view and comment to this post over at phdead.net.File this under 'things you never want to hear from faculty'. With the new semester upon us, old issues with the department are quickly fading into the background as new ones fly in my face. We had our pre-semester department orientation a little over a week ago, during which we were all reminded about degree requirements, given teaching

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-77946383220199596002009-08-24T11:52:00.004-04:002009-08-24T11:57:58.835-04:00

Please view and comment to this post over at phdead.net.Continuing on from the previous post, I want to elaborate a little on my issues with the faculty as composition teachers and the Big Damn Fuckup that was my first year meeting.I was planning to give the department a second chance this term, see if my second year got any better with one professor gone on sabbatical and another who was gone

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-23716986665350349682009-08-15T20:31:00.003-04:002009-08-15T20:34:15.832-04:00

I've been waffling about what to write in this post. There are so many things I want to talk about, but I've been trying to avoid having it all rush out in one big projectile of incoherent, stinking blog-vomit. So much has changed in the last three months; it's hard for me to parse, even now. I suppose that, just like the last time the proverbial shit hit the equally proverbial fan, I'll start

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-75445242918642697102009-07-22T13:29:00.002-04:002009-07-22T13:32:23.134-04:00

((Written on June 26th, while phdead.net was under construction))Contrary to the evidence presented by this blog, my first year of graduate school did NOT kill me.Ph.Dead went on hiatus for a lot of reasons. Not only did finals week creep up on me, but Mr. Dead and I (for some unknown, insane reason) scheduled our new lease to start on the last day of finals. Brilliant, I know. Though we're still

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-64218655677368942402009-07-22T09:21:00.005-04:002009-07-22T13:33:00.440-04:00

With many, many thanks to Mr. Dead, Ph.Dead is back from its unannounced summer hiatus with a shiny new layout and web address! The new phdead.net is up and running! Those of you who are still using Internet Explorer...well, first of all, why? Second of all, you should either switch to Firefox or keep using the blogspot address for the time being, as the new site is still a bit buggy in IE (what

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-67805427856944493582009-05-01T09:59:00.001-04:002009-05-01T10:03:28.705-04:00

Of all the things that I anticipated would leave me paralyzed and motivationless at the end of the semester, the one I didn't see coming ended up doing me in.Allergies. I hate them so hard. I've had them my whole life, year-round, every year, without fail. Before coming to this university, I lived in a state with next to no seasonal changes. I didn't think I even had seasonal allergies. Living

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-90463091634440729832009-04-28T11:29:00.002-04:002009-04-28T11:33:32.801-04:00

Is there anyone academically-affiliated that doesn't hate this time of year? I see both students and professors shuffling around campus in a burned-out daze, and I'm right there with them. Everyone is stumbling around with armfuls of books, looking despondent and exhausted, hardly noticing the beautiful weather that's finally graced us with its presence. Even the frat boys are hunched over their

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-35437782868116992032009-04-16T11:45:00.002-04:002009-04-16T11:49:56.068-04:00

The library means so many things to grad students. It's a place to scour shelves for dusty old books (50 of which you will check out, haul home, and not return for three years). A place to work for long hours (especially if the library assigns carrels to grad students). A place to eat (since you never actually leave). A place to sleep (made easier if you have a carrel). A place to socialize (

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-88668198898655606672009-04-15T11:45:00.001-04:002009-04-28T11:34:09.650-04:00

Some very hard-working people have inspired me to stop feeling sorry for myself and just get to work. When I talk to my grad student friends I know from other departments, they sound like I did in undergrad. They talk about how swamped with work they are, how much effort they're putting in, but in the end everything gets done and it's all good work. Right now, they're all going nuts with the end

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-76424739926156784942009-04-07T10:42:00.003-04:002009-04-07T10:47:39.596-04:00

I took this weekend to do some reading for pleasure, rather than seeing just how close I could get a match to the pages of Bakhtin's "The Dialogic Imagination" without setting the pages on fire. I always forget how much my favorite pastime relaxes me (the reading, not the fire). It's like a 'reset' button on my brain, but not one of the ones you have to push by shoving a paperclip into it. That's

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-79307713480266729202009-04-02T19:06:00.006-04:002009-04-02T19:14:41.267-04:00

For the sake of some levity around here:"Once upon a time there was a student who wrote a dissertation. At the end of his rope and convinced his committee didn't care about the damn thing anyway, he took a chance.A little ways in, he wrote in the middle of one paragraph, "If you're still reading this, I'll buy you a beer."A bit later, he did it again. "If you've made it this far, I'll buy you a

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-49945644690259465992009-03-31T16:21:00.001-04:002009-03-31T16:23:48.027-04:00

((Continued from previous entry))After re-reading the e-mail in which my independent study bid was rejected, I've realized some things.What irritates me most is that he rejected my independent study request because he thinks I need to do more writing. He said: "There's a serious writing component to the program, & for most people it's the most difficult component. So if you have a chance to work

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-81782350732050386802009-03-30T23:11:00.004-04:002009-03-30T23:20:25.206-04:00

There's a lot going on right now, and I don't really know how to start writing about it all. I guess we'll start with some basic facts.Fact One: My plea for an independent study got rejected.Fact Two: My health, both physical and mental, has seriously declined over the month of March.Fact Three: I'm going out of my mind because I hate this department so much.Fact Four: Mr. Dead has finally

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-86062403339849263122009-03-25T17:08:00.002-04:002009-03-25T17:11:32.905-04:00

My professor and advisor from my undergrad university knew me way too well. Though I tried to play it off as a common trait of serious students, he saw through me and announced it to the class: "Registration is Megan's favorite time of the year. It's like Christmas!"Okay, so it used to be true. I used to spend hours looking through the course offering book, writing down the numbers for every

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-85990380730662113182009-03-20T12:52:00.001-04:002009-03-20T12:57:32.720-04:00

I think I deserve a teaching award for today. Most Determined TA, or perhaps Most Inadvertently Entertaining TA.Today, I have no voice. Between my recent bout of influenza (yes, right on the heels of my spring break illness) and my choir rehearsal last night, my throat has apparently had it with my abusive ways. Of course, Fridays are my lab days, where I teach three computer music lab sections

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-23730354025802684792009-03-18T23:10:00.002-04:002009-03-18T23:43:06.228-04:00

Artist statements suck. Sitting in front of a computer trying to make a short and generic statement about my art and technique sounds like an exercise in eye gouging and facepalming to me.Unfortunately, my recent residency applications have turned what was formerly a mere observation into a first-hand account. Lucky for me, when my task was complete, my eyes remained intact. Ultimately, it was

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-21698185129057128762009-03-13T14:08:00.004-04:002009-03-13T14:12:49.398-04:00

Well. That didn't go as well as I had hoped. Remember that nice mantra I was repeating about not getting sick? Apparently my meditative powers failed me, because I spent all but two days of spring break coughing up vital organs all over the couch. There was a pretty hefty to-do list for spring break, one that included both things that needed to get done, as well as things I'd been wanting to do

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-19522410558919634792009-02-28T22:32:00.006-05:002009-03-13T14:13:03.058-04:00

Ah, spring break. The time of warm beaches, scantily-clad coeds, relaxation, and fun.Only not. I'm pretty sure spring break was invented for two reasons.-- To give grad students time to catch up on grading/reading/research/eating/etc.-- To be a form of punishment for grad students, to break their spirits even further so they become willing slaves of the university.Assuming that I'm NOT actually

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-19894349003697674882009-02-27T10:02:00.006-05:002009-02-27T10:35:10.375-05:00

I was having a good day, too.The terrible Economy has finally taken out its deeply repressed mommy problems on my little family. Sure, we’d gotten smacked around a little in the past; it took my husband six months to find a job that didn’t involve espresso after I moved us to this forsaken little hole. Eventually, it seemed that Economy got bored with us and finally allowed Mr. Dead to find a job

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-35546337041768377222009-02-11T11:27:00.007-05:002009-02-11T11:53:28.798-05:00

I just had the best conversation ever with a former student. This girl is an international student form China who was in my Music 101 class last semester. We had several opportunities for students to share their musical talents over the course of the semester and she jumped on every chance, eager to share Chinese traditional music with the class. She played the hulusi, a type of free reed

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-36132933329368101192009-02-06T09:55:00.006-05:002009-04-28T11:35:25.275-04:00

So often the wisdom of the world is expressed through targeted snarkiness.((Click to enlarge - will take you to the Socks and Barney site))The application to academia is obvious, I hope. This comic summarizes one of the biggest problems I have with academic writing. The way I see it, the point of research is to find out new information or make interesting observations about a topic, then share

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-56645150900844995662009-02-04T11:27:00.007-05:002009-02-04T12:05:02.446-05:00

I heard a great story the other day that really made me laugh at the academic world. The story comes from India, and is a lesson for those who "live inside their head" too much. To summarize the beginning, there were four scholars who had been friends since childhood. Three were extraordinarily well educated in the all the arts and sciences, while the fourth had only common sense. The other three

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-76264488817951964872009-02-02T12:05:00.004-05:002009-02-02T13:54:47.438-05:00

Breaking news for graduate students! Important information concerning a staple of the student diet has recently been uncovered. This just in: Roast Chicken flavored Ramen is way better than the regular Chicken flavor.More at 11.

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-45947239587377354902009-01-21T19:32:00.004-05:002009-01-30T10:12:37.779-05:00

I'm a little terrified by the paper I'm writing, for a lot of reasons totally unrelated to the fact that it isn't even close to done yet. It's actually the point that I'm making and the people I'm making it to that make me feel panicky. How do you tell a bunch of old guys that they've become stagnant in a field where progress is law, tradition is sin, and innovation is the only path to success? 

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-13270079494548160952009-01-20T18:09:00.004-05:002009-01-20T19:29:02.305-05:00

I spent my morning being terribly academic, sipping a chai latte in a localorganicfairtrade coffee shop, listening to Depeche Mode, and furiously highlighting and annotating my hundreds of pages of reading. Then I went to the basketball arena to watch the inauguration with thousands of other people. Then I came home and dropped a class.Okay, so the reading for Musicology scared me. A lot. Not the

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-39606892534563900852009-01-19T10:07:00.004-05:002009-04-28T11:36:39.011-04:00

This was previously posted in a more private blog on December 17th, 2008. I give you this, because the topic has come back to bite me in the ass...again:"A note to all of my friends either currently in academia or heading that way in the future:Never submit an abstract and bibliography to a conference assuming that the work is so bad that they would never, ever accept it. They will do so just to

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-32975106938449520912009-01-14T11:02:00.004-05:002009-04-28T11:37:44.796-04:00

So, as the end of the fall 2008 semester tried its best to grind my face into the ground, I tried my best to keep blogging. I obviously failed, as the low post count for December will show, but that isn't to say I didn't churn out some material. In fact, I have several text documents full of post fragments, topics to cover, and notes on events that I fully intend/ed to post eventually. I may get

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-17359906067848339752009-01-14T10:04:00.008-05:002009-04-28T11:37:16.661-04:00

New semester, new posting season for Ph.Dead. No, I did not actually die at the end of last semester. It was a particularly unrestful winter break, however, due to excessive traveling and excessive our-apartment-is-falling-apart-but-they-won't-let-us-move raging. Now, the fateful day has arrived: the first day of classes. Time to brace myself and charge headfirst into chaos. So, what does the new

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-48969309797136255212008-12-02T15:12:00.005-05:002009-04-28T11:38:02.752-04:00

I am mere hours from being (mostly) done with this god forsaken semester. I find it ironic that I'm spending this time analyzing a piece filled with church hymns. Once my oral presentation on this piece is over, I can relax considerably. Yes, I'm definitely still busy. I have a buttload of papers to grade before Thursday. I have to administer and grade the final exam for my students. I have a

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-78362634021754005882008-12-01T11:48:00.004-05:002009-04-28T11:38:17.491-04:00

It is the end of the semester, and I am losing my mind. That is all.

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-45860400452776409152008-11-19T20:00:00.002-05:002008-11-19T20:06:58.793-05:00

((This is a continuation of Monday's post, "No Cowboy Boots at the Symphony".))Grading concert reports, part trois. Some of these are so damned funny, it is my obligation as a human being to share them. -- "I was looking extremely dapper with a sexy collared shirt and some nice trousers, while my roommate was looking a little grungy."-- "We were sitting so close that my roommate was able to

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-73689137054108558412008-11-18T21:32:00.003-05:002008-11-19T07:38:51.089-05:00

Grading concert reports, part deux. Of course, I have more hilarious student quotes to share, but now isn't the time for that. This assignment of theirs is actually making me realize some pretty important things. For the past 10 years, since I first picked up a clarinet in the 7th grade, I have always been a member of a large ensemble of some sort, usually a symphonic band. Ten years of intense

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-50368140038235250402008-11-18T15:22:00.006-05:002008-11-18T21:39:55.243-05:00

I am not my most efficient when working on the living room couch. This seems like an obvious, dumbass fact, but it's something that's been bogging me down for months now. When we first moved to this town in June, we did a pretty good job of unpacking and setting things to right. We even painted our soon-to-be office an amazing color of bright blue that we find very creatively inspiring and made

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-72231294881073557452008-11-17T21:01:00.006-05:002008-11-19T20:03:48.336-05:00

((Brief note: the entry from 11/13 about teaching evaluations is finally done. Check it out!))As usual, I'm spending another night grading a seemingly endless stack of Music 101 papers. The assignment this time was to attend the symphony orchestra concert and write a 2-3 page concert report. I've found reading these papers to be very uplifting so far; some of the kids really had a wonderful time

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-13106009406946476732008-11-16T21:55:00.005-05:002008-11-17T20:16:39.023-05:00

No, really. My subject line is neither sarcastic nor intended for humor (alone). Cake in a Mug is quite possibly the world's most perfect food. I admittedly haven't tried it yet, but just LOOK at it! It can be prepared just about anywhere. You can mix the dry ingredients ahead of time. You can add chocolate chips! My mind is blown by cake. In a mug. Could there be a better snack for those late

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-11236057769994655402008-11-13T22:42:00.006-05:002009-01-30T19:08:34.508-05:00

So, I asked for midterm teaching evaluations from my students today. Since this is my first time teaching a class, I gave them a pretty long evaluation to fill out: What do you like/disklike most about this class, what do you want more/less of, do you feel comfortable participating in discussions, do you do the readings, and what do you like/dislike about my teaching style. All three of my

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-24095856331725008802008-11-12T21:28:00.006-05:002008-11-12T21:56:04.678-05:00

Short post today for two reasons: 1) I have an assload of prep to do for class tomorrow2) The Wrath of the Lich King expansion pack for World of Warcraft releases at midnight tonight. Hopefully I'm making up for length with content. I'd like to share with you some excerpts from papers my students have written. The assignment was as follows:"Listen to Beethoven's 5th Symphony and write a narrative

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-86527627472496455402008-11-11T10:41:00.012-05:002008-11-11T10:55:12.585-05:00

So, my course schedule for next semester looks like this:MUSI 725 – Performing Antique and ModernitiesENSP 545 – Narrative & TimeMUSI 892 – Supervised ResearchMUSI 782 – Composition LessonsRespectively, these courses are:- A musicology seminar that “focuses on how people perform themselves as part of a modern world” and how “technology and intercultural dialogue play into the construction of

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-36504113917885120012008-11-11T10:02:00.008-05:002008-11-11T10:57:02.127-05:00

Last night, I had an hour and a half long phone conversation with my professor and mentor from undergrad (we’ll call him “N”) about all the issues I’ve been having with the composition program here. I have to say, I feel immensely better now, and I no longer feel the need to bolt and go find a program that’s better suited to me. I was able to talk out a lot of the problems I’ve been having, and

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-17701788298425470592008-11-10T16:28:00.006-05:002009-01-14T11:08:21.045-05:00

"Calling BS" is a Ph.Dead feature in which I lament over those pretentious academics who deem themselves important enough to make up words or concepts and expect a) that we know what the hell they're talking about, and b) that others will use them, too. ---Calling BS, 11/10/08: SpectromorphologyI have a great personal grudge against this word. In the field of electroacoustic music, it's

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-91326863687908693452008-11-09T21:05:00.006-05:002009-04-21T14:58:24.084-04:00

Should I be worried that my main forms of social interaction are playing Dungeons & Dragons and World of Warcraft? I suppose this is only slightly worse than other grad students, who mostly only hang out with other students in their department, but I'm still concerned. It helps that my husband participates in these activities with me; and hell, it's honestly better than sitting in front of the TV

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-81418195361423263692008-11-07T17:34:00.005-05:002008-11-07T17:39:57.177-05:00

Another day, another dollar. Another class of beautiful, soul-shaking music written by horribly racist, terrible people, another completely apathetic, silent reaction from the class. What is WRONG with these kids? It's not like I'm playing them Gregorian Chant or early baroque music...this is music of the romantic period, some of the most emotional music in the world! I ask for an opinion, like

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-12474901599799798062008-11-06T15:01:00.007-05:002009-02-07T16:26:27.211-05:00

This was prompted by a quote from a visiting composer who lectured in one of my courses yesterday. After listening to a piece of my music, he said, “Much of modern music hurts to listen to. Your music was not painful.”In the field of computer music, we like to think our art is misunderstood, or just ahead of its time and therefore only able to be appreciated by an enlightened few. I'd like to go

Megannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-974674783147169325.post-21950662899585443482008-11-06T14:00:00.005-05:002009-03-20T18:20:14.534-04:00

In true grad student form, I require an excuse to actually get anything done. NaBloPoMo has given me that excuse. The idea for this blog has been beating around inside my head since before the semester even started, when I discovered the hard fact of life about grad school: everyone is a fucking pompous asshole. No one cares about anything other than their field, politics, and sports. No one ever

Megannoreply@blogger.com